Ohio

OK so I'm going to brag for just a bit. These are photos of my trip to Ohio for a best of the best awards night. My store was number one out of six hundred stores that includes the in line stores and kiosks, not bad for someone that has been with the company for a little less than two years. They flew my to Ohio picked me up with a limo service, and put me up in the Hilton. What a great few days. I think the best part of the trip was coming to a realization that I really have changed for the better in all aspects of my life. As all of you know I have been working hard on becoming a better person, and it helped me to realize just how much I've changed when my director kept bragging to everybody about how amazing I am and what a dramatic change I have made over the last year not only professionally but personally as well. She came and gave me a hug and told me how proud she was of me. She said she was so pleased that I had the self confidence to go and meet with people I've never met and not have to wait for her to lead me around. That made me think-I have changed a year ago I wouldn't have been able to leave my room without having an anxiety attack about not having someone to go with. I would not have been able to enter a room full of people I didn't know all by myself. Wow, what a change, and so liberating. While I was there at one of our meetings the company did a presentation and part of that presentation was about eagles. How eagles can live to be 70 years old, but only if they are willing to go through a long and painful transformation because their beaks and claws and feathers all have to fall out and grow back. They can choose to go through this transformation or die because they wouldn't be able to hunt or fly anymore without that transformation. It put me in tears. I could understand the decision these beautiful birds have to make (live or die, but to live you must go through some pain). I believe I have lived through some pain and chose to live, but I had to take time to change. I had to believe I could change and leave some of my old burdens behind. I had to realize that the pain we go through in this life helps us to live a better and happier life. We grow stronger as we go through transformations, we become better. Sometimes it means we lose things we love, things we think we can't live without, people that we thought were holding us up when they really were pulling us down. That's pain, losing people we care about. It's not easy to rip out old ideas we have of ourselves and replace them with true and uplifting ideas. It take a long time and effort to change, and it is a never ending process, but it is a worthwhile process. As for me I am so thankful to have family and friends who have stood by me and believed in me when I didn't believe in myself for so long. I am thankful for a husband who loves me unconditionally and loves the me I'm becoming. I am thankful for the pain. I am thankful to be alive! May God bless all of you in your endeavors to become who you want to be and who He knows you can be, for we are all His children and have endless potential.

St. George family vacation

Braden playing in the pool.

Getting dinner ready before going to a play.

Max, Braden, and Conner in Zions

What a cute family hiking in Zion

Max and Braden sitting by our hot tub.

Dave on the patio with Max and Braden.

Yeah! Finally a picture without a double chin! We just got home from a vacation to St. George which was a ton of fun. One of the best parts was being able to hike without getting out of breath. One of the worst parts was not having a chance to go visit my best friend. We took my brother and sister in law and their three boys to our condos for a few day. The boys had a blast (I'll be posting some pictures here soon). We had a 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom penthouse with a hot tub right on our patio. The boys were thrilled they had their own TV in their own bedroom. I think that they thought that was just the coolest thing ever. My eight year old nephew told me when he found out he had a TV and a bathroom in his bedroom that he felt like an adult now. It was too cute. We went hiking up in Zion's one of the days and it was wonderful to be able to hike without needing a break every few minutes like I was the last time we went. Summer hasn't been the easiest time to keep the weight off though. I thought it would be, but I end up getting so busy I forget to eat, and don't find the time to exercise, but I'm not giving up. I do have one complaint though. I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but when you work so hard to change things about yourself and become a better person does anyone else have friends that just refuse to believe you have changed or hate that you are changing. I think the hardest part about trying to become a better person is having friends who either don't want you to change or don't believe you can. But I am changing! I am better at a lot of things like for instance talking on the phone. It's still not my favorite and I don't like to talk for long, but I will call people back now and I answer when I'm available. Sorry getting off track, but for those of you who know me, that's a big deal. Life is about changes and making ones self better. I am working hard to be a good friend, better wife, loving sister and daughter. I hope that as I change my friends will help me and believe in me and know that all I want to do is be there for them and be better at being there. I will post more photos of our trip, enjoy, and have great summer.

Breaking Through The Fear

It's been awhile since I last blogged and I am now down to 154lbs which rocks cause the last time I lost weight I couldn't get passed 155. I am so excited to see a number lower than 155 on the scale even if it is just a pound it's a start to smaller and better numbers.

I have been working a lot on getting over fears I have had since I was a child, and I conquered a big one the other night. I actually got up on a stage in front of a live audience and sang by myself. Most of you are probably going big deal that's not hard, but for me it was terrifying. I pushed through the fear and did a great job. In fact some people I know who are in the music business were there and they want me to do some songs with them on an album they are going to be working on, and I was told I should do a contest called Talent Quest next year by the regional representative. Needless to say I will be doing it again and again until I am completely comfortable on stage. This was a huge fear and now that I have done that I am going to continue to be conquering as many fears as possible.

I want to share a little bit from a book I have been reading that gives me strength to realize that life is what we make it not what other people say it should be. We all make our own story and other people's stories aren't ours. This is out of The Voice of Knowledge by Don Miguel Ruiz:
"How do we live our life? This is our art, the art of living. With our power of creation, we express the force of life in everything we say, everything we feel, everything we do. But there are two kinds of artists: the ones who create their story without awareness, and the ones who recover awareness and create their story with truth and with love."

I am recovering my awareness of all the lies I have told myself through the years and writing a new story for myself. I hope as I do this I can help others realize that they can do whatever they set their minds to and nobody can create their story except for themselves. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't do something it's your story YOU write it.

Mother's day or fuzzy slippers day :)

Ok so like I said I'm not so good at blogging, but I'm trying to come up with ideas to put down into words. Hope all of you mothers out there had a great Mother's day and those of you who are not into Mother's day you can celebrate Fuzzy Slippers and Have Coke Day with me.:) My day was great. It was also my birthday. Thanks to everyone for their text messages. I love you guys. Anyway, my sister in law came over and we spent the day talking and lazing around watching tv and drinking soda. It was great, but boy did it throw my diet off. I am still struggling to get back on the wagon and excersize like I should and eat right. It's worth getting back to normal though. I have dropped 9 lbs since I started this blog and fit into clothes I haven't fit into in years. Glad I kept them cause I can't afford to go out and buy new clothes right now after replacing a transmission YUK!! I did however throw out all of my clothes that are too big now and vowed never to have to buy that size again. Hopefully buy this fall I will have to go and buy a new wardrobe. I have an awards night for the company I work for in September they are flying me to Ohio and going to give me the royal treament cause my store was number one in the company last year. I have vowed I will be at 135 by September so I can look great to accept my award. I haven't been 135 since I got married so it's a big goal, but one I know now that I can achieve. I noticed some of you on Goodreads are going to read The Four Agreements. That is awesome like I said everybody should read this book and take the good out of it and put it to work in their lives. It's not an easy thing to do, but I am finding it is worth it. Thanks again for all the happy birthdays, hope all is well with all of you. I'll keep my wieghtloss up to date and hopefully be able to add a few words of wisdom to help others with their goals. Please let me know of any great ideas you have and together we can take this journey and be healthy and happy.